The opposite of failing is success, and is far more gratifying. Success is easy to achieve, if you take small successes into account. I do that, because it's these small successes that change peoples minds.
A few days ago I was riding on my bike towards a friend of mine. There was a fierce wind that tried to blow me off the road. I was still in the village I live in, so I had quite a bit to go. While passing the community center, I saw a flag lying nearly on the streat. On closer inspection, it was the village weapon-flag. So I picked it up, put it inside and walked in to tell one of the volunteers behind the bar what had probably happened and that they should leave the flag off while the storm lasted.
The volunteer was highly surprised at this act. Maybe because of my age or maybe because in general people stopped caring. In any case, something I think should have been done by anyone with the possibility to do so, was only done by me and people were surprised at me doing that. This is the good example I'm talking about. These people were from my own village, where something like this would have been normal twenty years ago. Considering that, good deeds are a good way to impress people, make people feel better about society. Especially the small ones, for which you don't get any media-attention. For the moment, they are "drops of water on a very hot plate". But enough drops of water will cool the plate down.
Just make sure that a good deed is a good deed. They should take little time and be done often. The success is when people start smiling because of it. And tell me, don't you think smiles are part of a happy society?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Fear and Conscience
Nobody is perfect. As much as I try to practice what I preach, there are situations in which I am ashamed of myself for not doing so. After all, I'm only human.
Some time ago, before Christmas I think, I was travelling from Dortmund (Germany) to Meppel (Netherlands) by train. I had a stop at Venlo with some time in between, so I think I decided to go for a drink. Whatever I wanted to do (I travelled the route a lot in the past half year, and I can't remember what I did every time I stopped), I went to the ATM to take out some money when I heard shouting behind me. I turned around, my guitar in hand, and went to see what the shouting was about.
It turned out an employee of the Dutch Railway in a new white jacket was attacking a man, pushing him into a bush that was placed on the pavewalk in front of the station. I found out later that the man under attack had only asked the Railway-employee if the jacket was something new. An understandable question, since the concept is relatively new. To be honest, I don't know what it is about either. The other man was shouting in something akin to a parody of the dutch language that the first man had insulted him for some reason. Anyway, before I found out that, the two of them were still fighting. I wanted to drag them apart or at least do something. But the fear, fed by stories of people that got themselves killed trying to break up fights, took the better of me. I was not the only one to just stand there and look on, but that didn't help my conscience later. Thank the light security broke up the fight, but it took over 5 minutes for them to even know what was going on. Nobody so much as moved a muscle to tell them.
What I find most embarrassing though is that there were at least 20 people, and nobody, including me, made a move to have these people team up to break apart a fight consisting of 2 people. Not even a word in that direction was said.
As I said.. nobody is perfect. However, we can try.
Some time ago, before Christmas I think, I was travelling from Dortmund (Germany) to Meppel (Netherlands) by train. I had a stop at Venlo with some time in between, so I think I decided to go for a drink. Whatever I wanted to do (I travelled the route a lot in the past half year, and I can't remember what I did every time I stopped), I went to the ATM to take out some money when I heard shouting behind me. I turned around, my guitar in hand, and went to see what the shouting was about.
It turned out an employee of the Dutch Railway in a new white jacket was attacking a man, pushing him into a bush that was placed on the pavewalk in front of the station. I found out later that the man under attack had only asked the Railway-employee if the jacket was something new. An understandable question, since the concept is relatively new. To be honest, I don't know what it is about either. The other man was shouting in something akin to a parody of the dutch language that the first man had insulted him for some reason. Anyway, before I found out that, the two of them were still fighting. I wanted to drag them apart or at least do something. But the fear, fed by stories of people that got themselves killed trying to break up fights, took the better of me. I was not the only one to just stand there and look on, but that didn't help my conscience later. Thank the light security broke up the fight, but it took over 5 minutes for them to even know what was going on. Nobody so much as moved a muscle to tell them.
What I find most embarrassing though is that there were at least 20 people, and nobody, including me, made a move to have these people team up to break apart a fight consisting of 2 people. Not even a word in that direction was said.
As I said.. nobody is perfect. However, we can try.
Reasons and Triggers
The most commonly heard argument for unhappiness is probably poverty. Unemployment and underpayment of course are grounds for unhappiness. However, a common mistake is made to say that people acting "off-scale" (for example: ghetto-behaviour) are doing so because they are poor and have no real prospects. Only the latter is true. People being poor can sit through. But people being poor, without any prospects other than being discriminated, hated for the way they are and otherwise treated unfairly tend to get edgy.
This, of course, is only natural. Part of what is causing that is probably fear because of the cultural differences between these groups and the social groups further up in society. Now I'm not saying that cultural differences should be accepted per sé.. I'm saying that by fearing people because they are different, and thus treating them unfairly, they will not be inclined to change themselves (most of them). I say: do not ignore these people. Treat them like you would any other person: greet them in passing on the street, wait and smile if both of you want to go into the same ally at the same time.. that kind of thing. Chances are far greater they might pick up "good" behaviour if people show them what that is. Only by coming closer, we can prevent groups of society from drifting apart further.
This, of course, is only natural. Part of what is causing that is probably fear because of the cultural differences between these groups and the social groups further up in society. Now I'm not saying that cultural differences should be accepted per sé.. I'm saying that by fearing people because they are different, and thus treating them unfairly, they will not be inclined to change themselves (most of them). I say: do not ignore these people. Treat them like you would any other person: greet them in passing on the street, wait and smile if both of you want to go into the same ally at the same time.. that kind of thing. Chances are far greater they might pick up "good" behaviour if people show them what that is. Only by coming closer, we can prevent groups of society from drifting apart further.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Stick or Honey?
Following from an IM-conversation with Del-Jai, I wanted to write something about the way we treat people with attitudes that are contraproductive to a livable society.
Now, I've read stuff on the internet, including a lot of comics which include a lot of ridicule, humour to the point of insulting, and other ways of pointing out how bad the attitude of predominant youthly characters in western societies is. And although their behaviour may be dispreferent, I think the constant row of insults in their direction feed their attitude even more. Seriously, someone who insults people on a regular basis (interval: a few seconds) won't be very much impressed by getting clearly insulted, unless he can't understand the insult: he'll just think you're arrogant. These people often identify with characters that make "protest music" in some way, wear provocative clothes and use provocative methods to "say what they mean".
They want to show that they aren't satisfied, or something of the like. I'll be quite honest: I couldn't care less what they want to show, because I don't listen to someone who uses insults to attract attention.. See what I'm getting at?
The other way I've seen people act is silence and toleration. We know where that leads. More people following the voice that speaks, or keeping silent for fear of the speaking mass.
Getting back to the basics: how did these people become asocial anyway? In case anyone feels offended by me using that term: if you go around cursing and insulting people, dressing to provoke because you think that's the way society should see you, you've earned it.
The answer to the question, however, is: they had an example. These people can be influenced.. but we want to tell them to be nice to people, by telling them off. By acting like they are trash, why shouldn't they act their role. What we need are examples that will reintegrate society.
We've tried the stick. We've hit as hard as we could. Now, I'm handing out honey-pots.. who's helping?
Now, I've read stuff on the internet, including a lot of comics which include a lot of ridicule, humour to the point of insulting, and other ways of pointing out how bad the attitude of predominant youthly characters in western societies is. And although their behaviour may be dispreferent, I think the constant row of insults in their direction feed their attitude even more. Seriously, someone who insults people on a regular basis (interval: a few seconds) won't be very much impressed by getting clearly insulted, unless he can't understand the insult: he'll just think you're arrogant. These people often identify with characters that make "protest music" in some way, wear provocative clothes and use provocative methods to "say what they mean".
They want to show that they aren't satisfied, or something of the like. I'll be quite honest: I couldn't care less what they want to show, because I don't listen to someone who uses insults to attract attention.. See what I'm getting at?
The other way I've seen people act is silence and toleration. We know where that leads. More people following the voice that speaks, or keeping silent for fear of the speaking mass.
Getting back to the basics: how did these people become asocial anyway? In case anyone feels offended by me using that term: if you go around cursing and insulting people, dressing to provoke because you think that's the way society should see you, you've earned it.
The answer to the question, however, is: they had an example. These people can be influenced.. but we want to tell them to be nice to people, by telling them off. By acting like they are trash, why shouldn't they act their role. What we need are examples that will reintegrate society.
We've tried the stick. We've hit as hard as we could. Now, I'm handing out honey-pots.. who's helping?
So, I opened a blog.
Hello to any readers that might be visiting. I'm sure that interesting facts will pass your screen every day, only to be disturbed by the cruel reality we call spam, ignored by the 98%-junkfilter in your mind and twisted by those people on the internet we call users. C'est la vie.
I would like to welcome you to my blog for 3 reasons. First, your presence here and the fact you are reading this demands that I officially welcome you according to what I'd like to call "social behaviour". I'll have to explain that first. What is called social behaviour nowadays is not the same as what I call social behaviour. I consider the lack of asocial aspects, or just a limited number of them, no ground to call anyone social. For that matter, being asocial at times can be fun and makes us human.
Secondly, I appreciate the fact that you're still reading this. I decided to take a hand at writing a blog again. Yes, I'm an ex-ex-blogger.. and took a hand at LJ-ing for some time. That, I found to be very ennervating. Much too personal, much too much whining, far too much time put into updating three times a day to keep in the top 5 posts of your friends' friends list. Time that you could have spent actually talking with these friends. But, I wanted a more swift outlet for my creative side than the ones I've tried so far. I liked writing comics, but it's so sad I can't draw them, myself.
My third reason to welcome you, however, is because I want you to be welcome. That is my way. Welcome to those who want to be welcome, them they don't like me: leave me alone. There we go.
Up goes the blog then.
I would like to welcome you to my blog for 3 reasons. First, your presence here and the fact you are reading this demands that I officially welcome you according to what I'd like to call "social behaviour". I'll have to explain that first. What is called social behaviour nowadays is not the same as what I call social behaviour. I consider the lack of asocial aspects, or just a limited number of them, no ground to call anyone social. For that matter, being asocial at times can be fun and makes us human.
Secondly, I appreciate the fact that you're still reading this. I decided to take a hand at writing a blog again. Yes, I'm an ex-ex-blogger.. and took a hand at LJ-ing for some time. That, I found to be very ennervating. Much too personal, much too much whining, far too much time put into updating three times a day to keep in the top 5 posts of your friends' friends list. Time that you could have spent actually talking with these friends. But, I wanted a more swift outlet for my creative side than the ones I've tried so far. I liked writing comics, but it's so sad I can't draw them, myself.
My third reason to welcome you, however, is because I want you to be welcome. That is my way. Welcome to those who want to be welcome, them they don't like me: leave me alone. There we go.
Up goes the blog then.
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